Friday, January 23, 2009

Polygamy - Part 1

Firman Allah bermaksud:

"Dan jika kamu takut tidak akan dapat berlaku adil terhadap anak yatim, maka kahwinilah wanita yang kamu senangi, dua, tiga atau empat, tetapi jika takut tidak dapat berlaku adil (terhadap isteri), maka kahwinilah seorang saja, yang demikian itu adalah lebih dekat kepada tidak berbuat aniaya." (Surah an-Nisa', ayat 3)

"Dan kamu sekali-kali tidak dapat berlaku adil antara isteri-isteri, walaupun kamu sangat ingin berbuat demikian." (Surah an-Nisa', ayat 129)

I still want to talk about poligamy.

A few days after the wedding, my biras told me that she felt a bit weird, empty and being left out by the husband. Ok, so the real test has finally come.

As the opening says, no man can be fair eventhough he really wants to do so. You can be fair about money, material, time.. but you can never be fair about feeling, not even our Prophet (SAW). This is what I personally afraid about. I love my hubby very much, though I do not give my 100% trust, but I still feel the emptiness when he's not beside me at night (coming back late from silat, going outstation..etc), I just cannot live without him, for even one night. So, I perfectly understand how my biras feels. Just the thought of our husband is out there with another woman (or wife), is killing us. I could never falls asleep with that thought!

I believe in fate, qada' and qadar. If this thing were happen to me, I most probably will accept it anyway, but of course after I have done my best. And being me, 'my best' is to the last blood I have, and it will definitely not a 2-weeks decision. And I already have my emergency plan and exit for it. You should expect that I will not be panic.

My father-in-law is a polygamous, now my brother-in-law. My hubby, almost. Now I don't know where he stands. He has seen how his mother suffers, how his father regrets, and I don't know how my brother-in-law will do in the future. But I believe, somehow he has learnt something. At least the feeling to have a nother wife has faded a bit. I hope so.

On my part, I just want to enjoy every moment we have together. I want to believe that he's not mine forever. If Allah took just a part of him or the whole of him from me, I have to accept it. For Allah knows what's the best for us.

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