Thursday, January 22, 2009

Is she out of her mind?! - Part 2

Continue from last entry.

During the wedding, it was obvious that my biras is OK and she can maintained her smile throughout the event. And my brother-in-law, of course he was like the knight of the day who held victory over a war. And the new wife - she probably the loser in this case. She is married to a man infront of his wife, and teh worst part is, shouldn't a marriage is something special that should happen only between the brid eand groom? But she had to share it with the man's wife.

Later I also learnt that my biras took 2 weeks to think and finally gave permission to his husband. And as a return, they have settled their 'harta sepencarian' prior to the wedding through wasiat and actual distribution. She is quite more clever than I thought..hmm...

However, I pity her because after she made the decision, it was her family that throws her away. In my opinion, I think the family is more out of their mind than her because if they want to be mad to, it shoudl be the son-in-law, but they should offer mental and emosional support to their daughetr and sister for being a victim in this case. Instead, they throw her out of their life and couldn't be bother about her anymore. I think she has a weird family, though.

Now, she's hanging on her (our) parents-in-law. I am ok with her, I think if she can accept all these as her fate, qada' and qadar, who are we to not to accept her decision?? My parents-in-law, are still mad at their son and couldn't accept the new daughter-in-law. They don't even want to see her or give the new couple a chance. It's like he's done a big sin. The only sin that he made is, he got married for second time without their consent. But he got his wife's consent and the kids are happy with their new mom. He's a grown up for God sake! Because of that, my biras feels guilty too, and feels like everybody in the family has thrown her out. But in actual fact, we all do not know how to behave ourselves, react to the situation, because we are confused whether her decision comes from her purest heart or she was forced to do it because of the situation - she's not working so she is financially insecured (but she got an IT degree from Japan) , she has been thrown out from her family so she has nobody to turn too...


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