Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Is she out of her mind?! - Part 1

It has been a long time since this thing happened. But I don't dare to write about it because it hurts.

It was a long holiday. From Christmas until Awal Muharam. 5 days altogether. It's weird because my hubby didn't say anything about balik kampung, especially after he has his kebun serai to look for. One fine dinner, he asked whether I wanted to go for a short holiday in Terengganu. Just to bring the kids and stay at the hotel. I felt a bit strange but since I was still ok in the sense that I can still bare with my pregnancy, so, I said yes to his idea.

Later that night, he told me that we are going for a wedding. Not just anybody wedding, but my brother-in-law second wedding!! Okay, he's 29, has a nice wife and 2 kids, waiting for the third one! I was like.. "whattt?? is he crazy or what?? what about the wife? does she know about this? can she accept it?" so, my hubby start to tell the story...

He knows the girl since his college days in N9, sort like his ex-girlfriend. They just reunioned some a year ago (don't know how thsi happened). Since he frequently had business trips in KL, they met often and finally they decided to get married. His wife gave permission to get married and even go the the extend of meminang the girl for her dear husband. It was before the Ramadhan last year. And for this wedding, she will be there too. I thought she's out of her mind.

Then the next day we drove to Terengganu, the hotel was sponsored. So, no big deal. Only my family and my sister-in-law's. Mt parents-in-law are very upset over the situation and they didn't joint, as a sign of disapproval. When we arrived at the hotel, there she was, my brother-in-law, his wife, kids and also the bride. My first impression... she looks old, doesn't have the look (at least his current wife is more beautiful) and I learnt that three of them are at the same age - 29. and I think it's not funny.

The next day is D-day. Early that morning we had breakfast at the famous Kopitiam in Kemaman. My brother-in-law also joint us. I aske dhim where's the wife and kids. He said that they are all at the bride's house preparing themselves. "What again??!" Seriously, she's out of her mind.

The wedding took place after Zohor a mosque very near to teh bride-to-be's house. Around noon, we went to the mosque, and me and my sister-in-law had to prepare the hantaran for the bride. They were all well done. I don't dare to ask anybody who did it, but my heart said it could be his wife or his bride. Later I learnt from my observation that the wedding gifts were done by his wife. She must be out of her mind.

After Zohor, the bride came with a car. To my suprise, and everbody at the mosque too, there came two brides! Both are wearing white, same fabric, and same design, except one of them is pregnant! And the kids are wearing just like the father. I was speechless, I don't know whether I should cry or laugh. But it ain't funny.

During the ceremony, I don't even dare to tak ethe pictures of the brides. The kadi came and got confused for a second, for which is the bride. I was thinking all the time - is she concious, crazy, willing, being force to do this... eveything! I wanted to ask her lots of questions but I can't, we hardly talk about life. I have to admit that I am not close with my in-laws family. That's why I became the last person to know about this thing.

The ceremony took place smoothly, after the akad nikah, we walked to the bride's house where we had our kenduri. All of us are treated as VIP of the wedding. Then. there was photography session by a semi-professional photographer. Yes, there was this one corner with bpelamin backgorund but no chairs or pillows. Merely for photograhy session. And the gifts from the bride include a gift to the first wife, a Bonia handbag.

I think most of the people at the kenduri were confused, as confused as we are. After the event, we decided to stay one more night by the beach's chalet. The whole day and night I cannot stop thinking about the wedding and every character - the first wife, second wife and of course my brother-in-law.

Apparently, the first wife's family is also upset with her decision to permit his husband to have a second wife. My father-in-law, who is also a polygamous, also disapproved it. Well, he knows better what is life after having second family. So, all of them are not talking to my brother-in-law and also the wife. I think it's not fair for the wife, because she is the victim in this case. Yes, she permits her husband but she didn't ask for this to happen. She just accept it as qada' and qadar.

To be continued...

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