Thursday, February 16, 2006

A Daughter & A Father

Where do I start today??

Oh yea.. I got an SMS from him yesterday afternoon...
a bank account.
I wonder why.. then I got his call. He needed some money..RM200.
Okkayy... I didn't ask much. I was with a colleague at that time.

Back to office.
I SMSed my hubby. Negative.
I was not in a good mood.

I drove back home from office in a heavy rain.
I purposely punch-out early yesterday because I didn't want to stuck in a jam due to heavy rain. It could turn really bad, here in KL.
I thought about him so much.
Where was his responsibility as a father when I needed him in my growing-up years?
Where is my responsibility as a daughter now?
If he has done things wrong in those year (maybe until now), should I be doing the same? It's not suppose to be a revenge. After all, he is still my father.. no matter what. Am I that cruel to left him out there, in desperate of money like a beggar?
Of course not.Yes, he has mess-up lot sof things. And he's not going to feel an inch of guilt. But I'm still a human.. I'm still his daughter. with feelings.
He has done bad to me me & my mother since the last many many years. But shouldn't I think about the good times when he was a good and loving father to me during my 8 years of living? Though I can't remember any sibgle thing of my memory with him, but I think I should.

At home.
I looked into my wallet. RM150.
I asked for my hubby permission to give the money to him.
We went to the bank that night to deposit teh money into his account.
Done. RM150 deposited into his account.
I called him.
He was somewhere in KL. He got car no more. It was taken away by the banker since last week. And I have to settle that too since it was bought under my name 5 years ago. He thanked me. He promised to come to see me at home to give back my car's key. I don't know when...

Watching TV at home.
I thought of him.
He's getting old. I know, someday, when he has no strength to go on and somebody has to take care of him. He has no other daughter. I'm the only child.
I hope he will realize that. I hope he will come back to pangkal jalan sooner.
I hope when the time comes, I will be ready to take up the responsibility with all my heart and love.

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