Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Welcome Home, babe..

Finally.. my wish has come true.. after a long wait and dreaming, since 2004.
Welcoming our new family member....

A dark-blue Japan recond toyota wish... *alhamdulillah*

It was a thrill to fetch her yesterday. Hubby and I can always go together in one car (our Viva) and he can drive the Wish home. But since I don't want to drive home alone in Viva and let him officiate the Wish himself, so we decided to go by train. To add to the thrill, we brought the 3 kids together!!

I was on MC yesterday, so after work, the kids and I went to fetch hubby at his workplace and we parked our car at Putrajaya Sentral. We took the KLIA transit to KL Sentral (it costs about RM9 per person for all of us!). From KL Sentral, we took Putra LRT to Asia Jaya. It was raining a little... we run through the rain to catch a taxi by the roadside... it was 7pm already... there was hardly a taxi... Finally a taxi stopped.. the driver was very kind to stop for us, he said if it wasn't for the kids, he won't stop as he was about to take his son for a lunch. Thank you taxi driver! We finally arrived at Naza World at 7.30pm..

On the way home, hubby thrown his crazy idea to test drive the car to Genting Highland the next day (which is today)... I was confused between studying for the final exam or having fun with my new wish-come-true... But we did go to Genting Highland and spent a half day fun at the indoor theme park... There were not many people, and the kids were the most enjoyed... playing round and round... This trip made Big Sis realizes that Genting Highland is not that far from our house. So, she keeps on asking to go to Genting again whenever Saturday comes... She's getting smarter!

Friday, October 16, 2009

Polygamy- Part 2

Why the hell I'm talking about this again.. *sigh*
I've seen many of this happening around me
I like to share my opinion on this.. this will also remind me that I'm not polygamy-proof.

Suprisingly my two sweet honeyed biras are like living-happy-ever-after after the wedding. Quite few months after the new biras moved to their hometown, my mother-in-law began to accept her new daughter-in-law. They live in a separate house but within the same neighbourhood. Normally they will go out as one big happy family for eating out and shopping or even balik kampung to my MIL's. We called the family as d*d and company. :)

During our gathering at my MIL's house, both are them are like sisters or bestfriends, and during raya, when we visited my brother-in'law's house a.k.a first house, both of them are there and treating us... she also help her with her childrens... hmm.. I wonder how he manages it and how the ladies manage themselves.

But I begin to have my own theory....

1. The #1 and #2 must probably didn't think much about them sharing a hubby.
2. #1 accepts #2 as a new family member and never thought about her as her madu.

Maybe, if we stop thinking about sharing a hubby and the fact that the other person is our madu, psychologically we could live with it. Provided that our hubby is OK and fair, there's nothing much to worry.

Now I'm worried about my hubby.. is he picking up something from what happens. I think I have to keep on reminding myself that anything can happen. Ok, as long as I have my emergency plan, I should be ok..

Monday, October 05, 2009

It's Not Over Yet...

First of all a sincere wisy of Selamat Hari Raya to all friends who read this blog (cececce... as if I have a reader :))

Since the raya week and last week, I have been very busy with the kids, housechores and assignments to the extend that I don't even have time to check my yahoo mail & facebook. seriously. My mind keep on switching from one topic to another in 30 seconds. But to my relief, I've completed the presentation on telecommunication on Monday (the first day coming back from 1 week holiday) even though the presentation was not up to standard - blame it on 2 audiences (heh, alasan!) not because of lack preparation. I couldn't prepare for the presentation because I was terribly busy with Economics's assignment and finalizing my project's report on Knowledge Management... a 40 pages report in 3 days! In which I finished it just-in-time - with no time to re-read it and for other groupmates to even have a look on the printed copy! But who cares, the draft was done by another groupmate and I put a finish touch-up, well, a lot of finishing and alteration. What the he*l is the other three doing? And now, for the presentation on this Saturday.. I have to surrender and to put my faith and trust on my groupmates to do it..

I'm concentrating on two coming tests in this week- Power System Analysis & Managerial Economics - both are heavy subjects. Actually I have another telecommunication assignment due this week, but I think I have to ask for 1 week extension. The two tests already eating up my last weekend and also this week. As last week and this week too, my office is virtually shut down. I'm still at my place, but not doing office job but doing my assignments - where I can afford, office jobs will be put-off until next week.

Plus, my maid is still in Indon for hari raya.. she'll be back this weekend. So, without her for the last two weeks have added the busy-ness of my life... wake up at 6am to prepare the kids and babies for pre-school and nursery and sleep at 12 midnight for the daily chores, of course that is after I came back from class at 9.30pm and after the kids are sleeping. If I'm lucky, I would still have some energy left for my assignments. But I'm LUCKY that my dear hubby helps in making sure that there is breakfast and dinner on the table, and the dishes and laundry are done everyday, and the fish and plants are fed. Thank you darling!

Next week will be better, I hope so.

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

School Holiday & Wedding


Yea.. it's school holiday!!! Which also means there will be a lot of wedding to attend.


The kids are so happy to not having to wake up early and go to school.


The first week is balik kampung time. We went back on Friday for my cousin tied the knot that night. On Saturday, she had her kenduri. On Sunday the groom's kenduri pulak. So, it was like 3 days and 3 nights wedding. On the third day, my son couldn't cope with it anymore and just stayed at his grandma's house. On the fourth day, my daughter got a fever. I think it's because of too much kenduri and eating, and the weather is rather hot too.
Today the kids are still at their grandma's in Perlis. And I'm already back to office. It's so lonely to be at home without the kids, and hubby too! Hubby is still at my mom's house since he has arranged for outstation work in Kedah so that he can be with the kids in Perlis.
I'm going to Gerik today and shall reunite with my family tomorrow after work. And continue my balik kampung holiday in Kuala Kangsar. We will spend 4 days in Kuala Kangsar and I have planned and prepared some activities for the kids....
1. simple english reading exercise for the eldest
2. maze activities - my kids love it!
3. dot-to-dot activity
All are free stuffs from abcteach.com. Do check them out!
I also thought of outdoor activity, maybe going to Zoo Taiping?
Shall update on the homeschool activity during school holiday next week.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Polygamy - Part 1

Firman Allah bermaksud:


"Dan jika kamu takut tidak akan dapat berlaku adil terhadap anak yatim, maka kahwinilah wanita yang kamu senangi, dua, tiga atau empat, tetapi jika takut tidak dapat berlaku adil (terhadap isteri), maka kahwinilah seorang saja, yang demikian itu adalah lebih dekat kepada tidak berbuat aniaya." (Surah an-Nisa', ayat 3)

"Dan kamu sekali-kali tidak dapat berlaku adil antara isteri-isteri, walaupun kamu sangat ingin berbuat demikian." (Surah an-Nisa', ayat 129)

I still want to talk about poligamy.

A few days after the wedding, my biras told me that she felt a bit weird, empty and being left out by the husband. Ok, so the real test has finally come.

As the opening says, no man can be fair eventhough he really wants to do so. You can be fair about money, material, time.. but you can never be fair about feeling, not even our Prophet (SAW). This is what I personally afraid about. I love my hubby very much, though I do not give my 100% trust, but I still feel the emptiness when he's not beside me at night (coming back late from silat, going outstation..etc), I just cannot live without him, for even one night. So, I perfectly understand how my biras feels. Just the thought of our husband is out there with another woman (or wife), is killing us. I could never falls asleep with that thought!

I believe in fate, qada' and qadar. If this thing were happen to me, I most probably will accept it anyway, but of course after I have done my best. And being me, 'my best' is to the last blood I have, and it will definitely not a 2-weeks decision. And I already have my emergency plan and exit for it. You should expect that I will not be panic.

My father-in-law is a polygamous, now my brother-in-law. My hubby, almost. Now I don't know where he stands. He has seen how his mother suffers, how his father regrets, and I don't know how my brother-in-law will do in the future. But I believe, somehow he has learnt something. At least the feeling to have a nother wife has faded a bit. I hope so.

On my part, I just want to enjoy every moment we have together. I want to believe that he's not mine forever. If Allah took just a part of him or the whole of him from me, I have to accept it. For Allah knows what's the best for us.



Thursday, January 22, 2009

Is she out of her mind?! - Part 2

Continue from last entry.


During the wedding, it was obvious that my biras is OK and she can maintained her smile throughout the event. And my brother-in-law, of course he was like the knight of the day who held victory over a war. And the new wife - she probably the loser in this case. She is married to a man infront of his wife, and teh worst part is, shouldn't a marriage is something special that should happen only between the brid eand groom? But she had to share it with the man's wife.


Later I also learnt that my biras took 2 weeks to think and finally gave permission to his husband. And as a return, they have settled their 'harta sepencarian' prior to the wedding through wasiat and actual distribution. She is quite more clever than I thought..hmm...


However, I pity her because after she made the decision, it was her family that throws her away. In my opinion, I think the family is more out of their mind than her because if they want to be mad to, it shoudl be the son-in-law, but they should offer mental and emosional support to their daughetr and sister for being a victim in this case. Instead, they throw her out of their life and couldn't be bother about her anymore. I think she has a weird family, though.


Now, she's hanging on her (our) parents-in-law. I am ok with her, I think if she can accept all these as her fate, qada' and qadar, who are we to not to accept her decision?? My parents-in-law, are still mad at their son and couldn't accept the new daughter-in-law. They don't even want to see her or give the new couple a chance. It's like he's done a big sin. The only sin that he made is, he got married for second time without their consent. But he got his wife's consent and the kids are happy with their new mom. He's a grown up for God sake! Because of that, my biras feels guilty too, and feels like everybody in the family has thrown her out. But in actual fact, we all do not know how to behave ourselves, react to the situation, because we are confused whether her decision comes from her purest heart or she was forced to do it because of the situation - she's not working so she is financially insecured (but she got an IT degree from Japan) , she has been thrown out from her family so she has nobody to turn too...

~end~

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Is she out of her mind?! - Part 1

It has been a long time since this thing happened. But I don't dare to write about it because it hurts.

It was a long holiday. From Christmas until Awal Muharam. 5 days altogether. It's weird because my hubby didn't say anything about balik kampung, especially after he has his kebun serai to look for. One fine dinner, he asked whether I wanted to go for a short holiday in Terengganu. Just to bring the kids and stay at the hotel. I felt a bit strange but since I was still ok in the sense that I can still bare with my pregnancy, so, I said yes to his idea.

Later that night, he told me that we are going for a wedding. Not just anybody wedding, but my brother-in-law second wedding!! Okay, he's 29, has a nice wife and 2 kids, waiting for the third one! I was like.. "whattt?? is he crazy or what?? what about the wife? does she know about this? can she accept it?" so, my hubby start to tell the story...

He knows the girl since his college days in N9, sort like his ex-girlfriend. They just reunioned some a year ago (don't know how thsi happened). Since he frequently had business trips in KL, they met often and finally they decided to get married. His wife gave permission to get married and even go the the extend of meminang the girl for her dear husband. It was before the Ramadhan last year. And for this wedding, she will be there too. I thought she's out of her mind.

Then the next day we drove to Terengganu, the hotel was sponsored. So, no big deal. Only my family and my sister-in-law's. Mt parents-in-law are very upset over the situation and they didn't joint, as a sign of disapproval. When we arrived at the hotel, there she was, my brother-in-law, his wife, kids and also the bride. My first impression... she looks old, doesn't have the look (at least his current wife is more beautiful) and I learnt that three of them are at the same age - 29. and I think it's not funny.

The next day is D-day. Early that morning we had breakfast at the famous Kopitiam in Kemaman. My brother-in-law also joint us. I aske dhim where's the wife and kids. He said that they are all at the bride's house preparing themselves. "What again??!" Seriously, she's out of her mind.

The wedding took place after Zohor a mosque very near to teh bride-to-be's house. Around noon, we went to the mosque, and me and my sister-in-law had to prepare the hantaran for the bride. They were all well done. I don't dare to ask anybody who did it, but my heart said it could be his wife or his bride. Later I learnt from my observation that the wedding gifts were done by his wife. She must be out of her mind.

After Zohor, the bride came with a car. To my suprise, and everbody at the mosque too, there came two brides! Both are wearing white, same fabric, and same design, except one of them is pregnant! And the kids are wearing just like the father. I was speechless, I don't know whether I should cry or laugh. But it ain't funny.




During the ceremony, I don't even dare to tak ethe pictures of the brides. The kadi came and got confused for a second, for which is the bride. I was thinking all the time - is she concious, crazy, willing, being force to do this... eveything! I wanted to ask her lots of questions but I can't, we hardly talk about life. I have to admit that I am not close with my in-laws family. That's why I became the last person to know about this thing.

The ceremony took place smoothly, after the akad nikah, we walked to the bride's house where we had our kenduri. All of us are treated as VIP of the wedding. Then. there was photography session by a semi-professional photographer. Yes, there was this one corner with bpelamin backgorund but no chairs or pillows. Merely for photograhy session. And the gifts from the bride include a gift to the first wife, a Bonia handbag.

I think most of the people at the kenduri were confused, as confused as we are. After the event, we decided to stay one more night by the beach's chalet. The whole day and night I cannot stop thinking about the wedding and every character - the first wife, second wife and of course my brother-in-law.

Apparently, the first wife's family is also upset with her decision to permit his husband to have a second wife. My father-in-law, who is also a polygamous, also disapproved it. Well, he knows better what is life after having second family. So, all of them are not talking to my brother-in-law and also the wife. I think it's not fair for the wife, because she is the victim in this case. Yes, she permits her husband but she didn't ask for this to happen. She just accept it as qada' and qadar.

To be continued...

Friday, April 18, 2008

Dying of a heart failure

Today I received a shocking news from my mom. His younger brother a.k.a my uncle, which we call Pak Tam, is diagnosed with cronic Hepatitis B. He already shows his jaundice, and the heart is already infected. He's only in his late 40's. His eldest daughter is 23 (i guess), just graduated and is working with the largest oil company in our country. His youngest son is still in high school. His wife is a full time housewife. Why am I telling everything about him here? Because he will be the fourth person in the family who will die because of heart failure. The first was my late grandfather, which I never met. He also died in his 40's, and I was not even exist then. The second was my late youngest uncle, which I called Pak Cik. He died in his late 30's, leaving 3 young kids and a wife. The third is my second youngest aunt, who just left her husband, a 16 year-old son and a 12-year old daughter on 1.1.08. That is not included my youngest sister-in-law, who died at the age of 21. Though they were all died due to heart failure, I am not sure if it was due to cronic Hepatitis B, which led to liver cancer. I am not worry about my uncle, but I am worry about the people whom he will leave behind. His young family.

If I am not mistaken, if he cannot recover from the illness, he will be gone by 3 months from now. I am not a doctor, but I have met 3 persons, who had been diagnosed and gone in just few months. There is nothing much one can do. There is nothing much I can do also to prevent myself from getting the same desease. I guess it is just Allah's way to take our life in a very grateful manner, by giving us time to do whatever we need, to prepare us to go back to Him.
Subhanallah....

And I also think that, as soon as we are born to this world, we start our dying process...

Saturday, April 29, 2006

It's a Honda!

It's a Honda.. a Honda City..
Since I got my very own car 5 years ago.. a national car, I always wanted to have a better imported car... which of course of a better quality and prestige.
So, finally I got a car that worth my money... though it's the cheapest from Honda's range, but still worth it. At first I don't really like City, I'm more for Jazz... a truly cute and comfort car. But after round and round of argument and consideration with my hubby, finally we booked the City. But it was very rushed. He was not keen to change our national car at first, but on our first survey to Honda's showcase, he already felt in love with the City. and he was the one who made the decision there and then and booked the car. Now, he never regret of trading-in our 5-years old national car to a new City.
The car is really really spacious. I personally like the driver's pit.. spacious and elegant. The interior is superb, but beige in color. So, it's a stricly NO NO to foods and drinks.. especially chocolate & milk. And no shoes for my babies too! The seats are wide and really comfortable for long journey. In fact I can pull down the rear seats and put a comforter until the bonet's area for my babies to lay down and sleep! Well.. that's my personal lady-like view for a car.. but of course my hubby has different view.. especially on the engine parts... on how it saves our budget on petrol (12 sen per km!), the 7th auto and manual gear... but the pick-up is not that good.. it's behind our previous Proton GTI. Other than that, it's an affordable and good car, NO REGRET!