Ibu Hebat Anak Hebat

Musim graduasi dan anugerah kecemerlangan telah tiba, baik dari level pre-school, primary school, standard 6, hinggalah universiti. Yang bergraduasi, yang cemerlang, semuanya akan naik ke pentas menerima anugerah. Yang dibawah pentas, pastilah ibu dan ayah yang menonton kegirangan, tak kurang yang menitis air mata gembra. Saat ini terasa segala letih dan lelah mendidik anak terbayar. Ada pula suara-suara yang mengucapkan tahniah untuk si ibu dan ayah, kata.-kata "ke mana tumpahnya kuah, kalau tak ke nasi", membuatkan senyum ibu dan ayah semakin lebar. Maka kata ayah, " hebat anak kita, macam ayahnya", maka kata ibu, "hebat anak kita, hasil didikan saya"....

Anak-anak yang hebat, selain dari faktor genetik ibu dan ayah, pastinya diasuh dari persekitaran yang hebat juga. Jika kita mahu anak kita hebat, ibu dan ayah perlu juga hebat. Jika anak-anak kita dalam golongan yang kurang hebat, lihat dan renung diri kita... jawapannya ada dengan kita. Adakah kita telah berikan home education kepada anak-anak kita?

Tanya diri anda:
1. Adakah anak-anak sayangkan kita sebagaimana kita sayangkan mereka?
2. Adakah anak-anak berasa jauh hati dengan kita?
3. Bagaimana hubungan kita dengan anak-anak?
4. Gembirakah anak-anak semasa berada bersama dengan kita? atau mereka lebih suka menyendiri atau bersama kawan-kawan sebaya?
5. Adakah anak-anak sering bergaduh sesama mereka kerana masing-masing cuba menarik perhatian kita?
6. Bagaimana komunikasi kita dengan anak-anak?
7. Bagaimana reaksi anak apabila disuruh / dinasihati?

Perhatikan, renungkan, muhasabah diri.

Anak yang hebat lahir dari didikan ibu dan ayah yang hebat. Anak-anak berusia 0 - 6 tahun adalah ibarat span, mereka memerhati dan menyimpan semua apa yang mereka lihat dalam minda bawah sedar. Anak-anak berusia 7 - 14 tahun adalah ibarat rebung yang perlu dilentur, anak-anak berusia 14-21 adalah ibarat buluh muda yang sedang membesar dalam persekitarannya.

Semasa anak-anak berusia 0-6 tahun, ibu dan ayah perlu menunjukkan contoh-contoh kehidupan yang baik, percakapan yang lembut dan pebuh kasih sayang - solat didepan / bersama anak-anak, membaca untuk mereka, meluangkan masa bermain, memeluk dan mencium, menunjukkan bahawa mereka sangat penting dalam kehidupan ibu dan ayah.

Pada usia 7 - 14 tahun, mereka memerlukan role model, ibarat rebung, ikatkan diri kita pada anak-anak. Solat jemaah, membaca al-quran bersama-sama, membaca buku bersama-sama, belajar atau mengajar, melakukan kerja-kerja rumah bersama, menunjukkan kasih sayang dengan jelas melalui kata-kata dan action. Apakah kita mengharapkan anak bersolat hanya dengan "menyuruhnya" tanpa dia melihat kita juga turut solat? Apakah kita mengharapkan anak-anak membaca hanya dengan ."menyuruhnya" tanpa kita memantau? Pada usia ini, anak-anak perlu diajar dengan jelas tentang tanggungjawab mereka. Maksud jelas, adalah mengajar melalui kata-kata dan secara hands-on. Seperti mengajar solat - mengajar dengan kata-kata, menunjukkan cara, dan bersama-sama melakukannya. Atau mengajar anak-anak didapur - dengan kata-kata, menunjukkan cara dan bersama-sama melakukannya. Konsepnya tetap sama walau apapun yang hendak kita ajar atau terapkan. Jika ia tidak dilakukan dengan jelas atau nyata ata conciously, maka akan berlaku unconcious learning - anak-anak belajar bahawa solat tidak penting, anak-anak belajar menonton TV lebih seronok dari membantu ibu di dapur, anak-anak belajar percakapan yang kasar yang sering digunakan olah ibu dan ayah ketika memarahinya kerana ini yang mereka lihat dan dengar setiap hari lebih daripada perkara-perkara yang kita ingin mereka belajar.

Pada usia 14 - 21 tahun, anak-anak ibarat buluh  muda, mereka telah ada suatu sikap yang ditanam dalam diri sejak kecil, oleh ibu dan ayah, dan akan membesar dengannya. Bergantung pada sikap, minat yang mereka ada, mereka akan memilih persekitaran yang sesuai dengan sikap ini. Jadi jangan salahkan persekitaran sekiranya mereka memilih persekitaran yang salah, kerana sikap dan minat mereka yang kita telah semai dan tanam sejak kecil sesuai dengan persekitaran tersebut. Adakah kita mengharapkan anak-anak akan berkawan dengan rakan-rakan yang bijak akademik sekiranya dia tidak berminat untuk belajar? Adakah kita mengharapkan anak-anak akan solat berjemaah di surau sekiranya dia tidak berminat untuk solat? Adakah kita mengharapkan anak-anak untuk mendengar nasihat kita sekiranya dia tidak pernah mendengar nasihat yang baik sejak kecil, selain dari dimarahi?
    
Sebelum kita berharap anak-anak untuk menjadi hebat, ubah dan latih diri untuk menjadi hebat terlebih dahulu. Sekiranya kita berharap anak akan menjadi soleh dan solehah, jadikan diri kita seorang yang soleh dan solehah terlebih dahulu. Insya-Allah anak-anak akan mengikutinya.

Jadilah ibu dan ayah yang hebat, insya-Allah kita akan melahirkan anak-anak yang hebat.

Teaching Vs Nurturing

I find that when I start to "teach", the kids will run away from me... So I have to change my approach. The first step is to get their attention. Yes, it is not easy when there is TV, toys, video games in the house. Getting their attention by talking about things that would interest them and make them pause from whatever they are doing and respond to my questions, either by answering me, showing me, demostrating (action).

Some good questions to ask:
1. Remember what we did yesterday?
2. Where is that drawing that you made yesterday?

Once I get their attention, the nurturing process can start. Nurturing is to instill interest to learn. It is not easy but it is less painful than trying to teach a kid that don't want to sit and do their lesson. It is time consuming but it's worth all your time. Sooner or later, once the interest starts growing, they can teach themselves many things on their own.

"Education is about teaching a person so that he can learn and teach himself"     

I like to relate yesterday's activities with what I want him to do today, such as...
1. Do you want to do it again today?
2. Let me show you something different today.

Kids also love to write or draw something that is very close to them. Instead of writing a blunt ABC, make them learn the letters by their name. My Lil' Prince likes to feel "big" and do difficult stuffs like getting a worksheet printed from mummy's computer. My Lil' Princess wants to do her big brother's Math workbook rather than 6 years old stuff.

Nurturing MUST start as early as possible. I'd say not more than 3 years old. 1 hr a day is all that it needs. The activities varies according the age and kid's personal interest. Once the interest to learn is there, it will help when they go to primary school, where they need to spend 1 to 2 hrs a day to do homework or workbook or study for exam.

I think I have done nurturing well on  Lil Princess. The result is she's more independent when it comes to study. Whereas I'm still struggling with her Big Sista and Big Bro as I failed to start this in their early age. Trying to make up for the time lost in the past is very painful. So teh key word for today is start early, start nurturing not teaching. 

Home Education

I started to know homeschool about 4 or 5 years ago. I followed and learnt a lot from Mama Fiza, who was promoting homeschooling in Malaysia. As a working mother, I do not have a luxury to do homeschooling 100% for my 4 kids.

I don't know about other mummies, but as a young working mum, my job was my priority. Living 25km away from office forced me and Mr.Hubby to leave the house as early as 7am and we only reached home at 7pm or more. Weekends are the only time that we could really spend "Quality" time with the kids. And our definition of "Quality" time is to take the kids to shopping mall for grocery shopping and eating at fast food restaurant. These happened for many years before I encountered the concept of homeschooling the kids. I started to realize how wrong it was my way of educating the kids - they spent most of their time at home in front of TV, watching ASTRO. They even hardly played toys because of lack of creativity to do so. I didn't realize that creativity is something that has to be taught and inspired. I hate to say that I was a bad mum before I attended Mama Fiza's homeschool chat session. Just 1 session, I began to see where did I go wrong and I was determined to make it right.
 
4 years later...

I was still no where in homeschooling. It's easier said than done.
It was fun to do homeschool when your kids are young - just teach them basic stuffs - ABC, 123, basic maths and science, art and craft, creative play, so on and so on. But once they are in standard 3, you know homeschooling is not about fun anymore. This is a serious matter.

So, the concept of homeschool no longer interest me and I began to develop a new concept of "home education". The concept is a bit different than homeschool as my kids are all going to normal school. At the same time, their time at home is not about watching ASTRO. I'm still a working mum, but my priority has changed. I found a job that allowed me to work from home, so I have more time to spend with the kids than on the road and traffic jam.

My home education means a holistic approach in personal development. On top of school subjects, my kids will have their mum and dad to teach, coach and mentor them about other stuffs that they probably do not learn in school or they probably learnt but get it emphasized at home.

My kids only spend 6 hrs at normal school. At home, they will continue with my home education. Daily activities include learning / reciting al-Quran, solat jemaah, finishing homework if any, and complete worksheet on various subject. Weekly activity includes reading, martial art, art & craft, cleaning the house, cooking, and creative play. Sometimes they sell some of the things they made at school in an attempt to develop entrepreneurship. It sounds simple, but it has to be done conciously and with effort from me, as their mum.

Again, I'm not a big dreamer. I am ok if my kids do not score 100% in their exam, but they can do house chores suitable with their age, and able to develop other life skills. I'm still learning, still struggling to divide my time among my 4 kids that are learning at different stage and level. This is a journey of our home education.   

Update Homeschool (3)

It's final exam week... God knows how busy I am with 3 papers a week in alternate days. One paper is over last week. I promise to treat myself with Coach handbag if I got all A's. Well, A- is also an A, right? I'm confident to get 1 A, and I hope to get 1 or 2 more A's and maybe one A-. Today I'm studying Knowledge Management. I tried to lock myself in the study room and not to be bothered with the kids... but the kids just cannot entertain themselves. They still love to hang around where the mummy is... As a solution....

Tadaa... a string of boys, girls and flowers..

Big Sis is coloring her string of trees... and she's wearing a crown made of a string of butterflies..

Big Bro is coloring his and wearing a crown made of a string of mickey mouse...

They love it, and I'm happy for today's art & craft activity...

Update Homeschool (2)

It has been a while since my last scribble on homeschool - too busy with new interest and hobbies.

Just a short update on the progress of my kids...

Farra has stop wearing diapers during the day since 7 June. This is my third attempt to let her goes un-diaper during the day. The first effort was somewhere before I gave birth to the fourt baby, she was not yet 2 years old. We both failed completely. The second attempt was when I was in confinement period. She didn't even notice that she's peeing, when I asked where she 'did' it, she didn't even know where... we have to look for a wet spot around the house. She was ngam-ngam 2 years old then. This time, it was effortless. She understand that she did not wear any diaper, she can feel 'it' when it's coming, and she has time to take off her pants and rush to the bathroom. For the first few days, we have to remind her to go to bathroom every few hours - in case she forgot that she's not wearing diaper. The second week, she told us when she needs to go to to bathroom, now I'm confident to take her out without diaper. My conclusion, when they are ready, they are just ready. No need to push for a stress, long and frustrated potty training. Be patient, the right time will come.

Fariz still cannot recognize letters and numbers. He wants to do something but when he cannot do it, he will tantrum. He needs a lot of attention and assistant, he doesn't want to work alone. He likes to simply cry, "Ayizz tak tau...!!!" At this moment I just be patient and let him progress at his space. My experience with the big sis has taught me that the right time will come. Like teh Hindi's movie - Black - the hardest thing to do is to set the fire, once the fire is set, it will burn, bigger and faster.




My lil baby is learning to roll his body, and when he does it, he cried. If he cannot do it also he cried. I already started giving him formula milk since I left him for outstation work. I felt so sorry. Now he needs more milk during the days and I cannot afford to expressed that much. So, he has a 3 bottles of BEM and 1 bottle of FM per day. He still does not show any sign of eating, yet.

Bat's Hat & Bug's Mug

I just got my outstation claim. It was most awaited money, because I planned to buy some books with it. So, when I got the money, I thought I want to go to a bookshop but I bump into a small book cart at the shopping mall that sells colorful board books, activity books, flash cards, jigsaw-puzzle books and I love them all! I bought 3 books - one for the big sis, one for big bro and one for lil sis. They are so excited about the book.

The big sis is reading quite fluently in Malay and now is improving on the English language. So, I supply her with lots of phonics stuff.

Looking at her, I see my ownself at her age. I love books. I read all types of books.I guess it is inherited from my father. My father used to buy books in sets for me. Being a government's officer in 70's, I guess it was quite a culture to install the house with sets of books. Children Encyclopedia, Peter & Jane etc. But I always prefer Malay books. Maybe because my dad only bought the books, but never spend time with me to read the books.

I am sure with teh genetic plus environment - my kids would love books more than I am.

School Holiday & Wedding

Yea.. it's school holiday!!! Which also means there will be a lot of wedding to attend.

The kids are so happy to not having to wake up early and go to school.

The first week is balik kampung time. We went back on Friday for my cousin tied the knot that night. On Saturday, she had her kenduri. On Sunday the groom's kenduri pulak. So, it was like 3 days and 3 nights wedding. On the third day, my son couldn't cope with it anymore and just stayed at his grandma's house. On the fourth day, my daughter got a fever. I think it's because of too much kenduri and eating, and the weather is rather hot too.

Today the kids are still at their grandma's in Perlis. And I'm already back to office. It's so lonely to be at home without the kids, and hubby too! Hubby is still at my mom's house since he has arranged for outstation work in Kedah so that he can be with the kids in Perlis.

I'm going to Gerik today and shall reunite with my family tomorrow after work. And continue my balik kampung holiday in Kuala Kangsar. We will spend 4 days in Kuala Kangsar and I have planned and prepared some activities for the kids....

1. simple english reading exercise for the eldest

2. maze activities - my kids love it!

3. dot-to-dot activity

All are free stuffs from abcteach.com. Do check them out!

I also thought of outdoor activity, maybe going to Zoo Taiping?

Shall update on the homeschool activity during school holiday next week.

Update Homeschool : Playgroup at Home

Last week was a hectic week for me.. I was being cursed by Wong's family - well, should find another topic to talk about this. It was a nightmare, in fact the cases are not settled yet and I'm still nervous until today, whenever I think about it. And I think about every 5 minutes, even in my sleep!


Nevertheless, last wekeend, at home, I tried not to think about the stress at work and just have fun with my kids. In the middle of my business at work, I still found time to search for free material on the internet for homeschool weekend's activity. Thanks to teachchildrenesl.com for great FREE printed material. I printed a lot of extras too so that they can do again and again.. kids just can't get enough with only one.


That morning, after coming back from our senamrobic routine at Taman Tasik Cempaka (this is a must for mom!), while relaxing at the porch, one of my kids' friend come over - she was playing outside too while her father was doing something on his car. So, I thought about the FREE material that I printed from teachchildrenesl.com, so, I had a brilliant idea - bring out the table and chairs and let the kids have fun with the material! At first, they were 4 of them, later 3 more joint in because it was fun!

One thing that I learn is, kids love to made something and then play with it. Above is the concentration game using pictures of fruit and word. I once bought an expensive memory card but they are not interested to play with it, until every single card is lost from my sight now. But with this rugged material, they love it! an added advantage is that we don't have to worry if they lost them, because we can always print them out again and again - for FREE. And if they lost them, the kids are not at risk to be scolded because the material has no money value, except they are fun to play with!

At this age, the kids love the cutting activity - so I just let them cut the pictures - it doesn't matter if it doesn't look neat or whatsoever - because it is their activity, not us.

I also let the kids to take home the activity that they did at my home. I hope their parents will notice it and let the kids to come to my house every other weekend for more activities. Why did I do this? Because I always wanted to bring my kids to the playgroup organized by a center near my house but they are quite expensive and requires time commitment. But being able to make a playgroup at my home? Hmm... that is so interesting.

So, there goes our home school turn playgroup activity. It doesn't take long, it finished in 1 1/2 hour, then I continue to cook for our family lunch.

Update Homeschool : Happy Teacher's Day

Last weekend was Teacher's Day - 16 May.

I remember I used to celebrate this day every year during my school days. I never missed to buy a small gift for my favorite teacher of the year. My mom was also supportive enough when it came to this matter. (Thank you Mama!). Now it's time for me to teach my kids to appreciate their teachers.

I always remember two of my teachers - whom I consider great teachers. One is my Standard 1 teacher - she taught me how to read, calculate and she was there during my difficult days in school. I still remember how afraid and nervous I was to enter standard 1. But she always calmed me. I had asked my mom to wait for me outside the classroom for the whole week. And she did - so, that's why I also waited outside the classroom when I sent my first daughter to her kindergarten. In fact I also rode the school van with her until she was comfortable enough to be with her friends alone, without me.

Ok, back to my teacher. If I'm not mistaken, my first teacher was Puan Joyah. I don't know if she's still around, or maybe she has passed away, as she was quite veteran when she taught me in 1985.

The second one is my Add Math teacher when I was form 4 and form 5. He is the reason why Add Math was even more fun and easier than Modern Math. I like him so much that I was gossiped with him by my friends, but of course he didn't know it.

So now that my two kids have their own teachers, our home school program this week I taught them about Teacher's Day. So, the activity for art n craft over the last weekend was...

Accept the blue card, all other materials are from old magazine. The apple pic is using cut and paste technique - the kids love to cut and paste!

Okay, this is cheating, that was my handwriting tryong to imitate kid's handwriting because my 4th yo is still in learning stage to write and getting to know alphabets.

**They had given the cards to the teachers today. And from their feedbacks, they are the only two who has brought such card for the teachers. I guess other mommies are too busy to remember about the teachers that have been spending more than 50% of their kids' time

every day.

Update: Homeschool (1)

For the past week, I've tried (very very hard) to keep the reading session before bedtime for each kids.

Dina manage to read aloud by herself every night before going to bed - the aim is to get her practice on her reading skill. After the reading, I'll discuss with her on what she understand about the story. I figure out that she still cannot focus on the story, but her reading skill is improving, A LOT!

I only manage to read a book to Fariz & Farra at the same time once. After a few nights of struggling to get them listen to me and not fighting each other. But it is more difficult to get Fariz's attention as he will has reason like sleepy, and doesn't seem to be interested with my effort - need to try other method, I guess. As for Farra, she likes to turn the pages by herself, and asking question about the picture rather than listening or giving me a chance to read the book to her. So, both need different approach. I'm still figuring out how to divide my attention to those before they all go sleepy and turn off.

The lil Dani - I'll read to him on weekdays when the older kids go to mengaji. Seriously, I cannot manage all four requirements within 1 hour (8.00 - 9.00 pm).

Yesterday is mother's day & also a weekend, so I arrange an art & craft session - making mother's day card for ME! Dina wrote a beautiful statements about me, which is her own idea. Fariz copy cat "Selamat Hari Ibu, fariz" from a note I gave him. But as usual will cry for help because he still has problem in writing the alphabet 'S'.

Homeschool - 1st Step

Okay, I have decided that I will commit on my home education programme.
"Sekarang dengan ucaan Bismillah, saya merasmikan Program Home Education AR."

So, what's next?
AR Home Education Plan:
Daily Activity
1. Playtime
2. Homework from formal school (if any)
3. IQRA' lesson
4. Reading session

Weekly Activity
1. art & craft
2. house chores (with kids involvement)
3. grocery shopping (with kids involvement)
4. Music lesson for Dina
5. Physical Exercise at park (specially dedicated for mama)
6. Sport / game
7. Actvities using computer / Internet

Monthly Activity
1. picnic day
2. visit to educational park i.e zoo, botanical park etc

Checklist:
1. Reading books
2. Art & Craft material
3. File for keeping art & craft
4. Daily planner - keep record on what has been achieved that day

Homeschool

My hubby really really against 'homeschool' - the real homeschool,which the kids never go to school but just stay at home. I think most of the parents in M'sia are also, not to say against, but are not confidence enough to homeschool their child because it is not in our culture.

Why did I suddenly talk about this topic?

Ok, I just attended a homeschool chatter at SusuIbu.Com yesterday. It was conducted by Mamafiza from Malaysia Homeschoo Unite . She is young lady with 4 kids (same as me!!) She is work-at-home-mom (WAHM) and she homeschools all her kid.

I might not be able to do the real homeschool - due to lack of confidence and I need my job to survive economically - but the determination shown by Mamafiza has open up my mind. I believe that learning can take place anytime and anywhere. In other word, world is the school - not just home or formal school. As per the homeschool schedule by Mamafiza - visit to outside places - that proves that world is the school. EDUCATION is such a big word - it is suppose to educate a human into somebody that have knowledge, understand & practice the knowledge, able to take care of himself (survice in the real world), and also able to educate himself for the rest of his life - not just learn and know how to answer the exam question but fail in his real life - which in turn will make him a failure throughout his life. Maybe this is what our national school fail to look into. and, this is where home education is required. Sorry, I'd like to use home education because I think homeschool is just misleading, in my context.

I will still send my kids to sekolah kebangsaan (but not sekolah agama rakyat - which I think is too much for a kid to bear a calssroom lesson from dawn till dusk) for them to learn math, language, science, history etc in a structure manner. But home education is a must - untuk membina sahsiah diri, peribadi, attitude, surviving skill, motivation - these are not teach at school nowadays.

The eldest daughter also take music lesson, my son is learning silat (my hubby is jurulatih silat). Both of them are also into sport & game - taught by my hubby. The 2 y'o - I'm still figuring what she likes because she seems to not have her own personality just yet, but just follow her big sis & bro. She doesn't even know which toy she likes except those owned by her big sis & bro! (Is it a problem??)

But I have to thank Malaysia Homeschool United for the inspiration - Now I can say that I am more open with my kids, spending time at home is no more rigid - I try to be more creative, more patience and get them involved with lots of things around the house, try to not miss a daily reading session. And also make a plan ahead for the weekend. I think I am on the right track. :)